Tuesday, July 31, 2012


A friend of mine shared this on Facebook and I couldn't help but share it here. One thing I have learned since entering the parenthood game is that there are far too many people out there that will happily jump at the chance to judge the choices you make as a parent- especially if they are different from theirs.  Unsolicited advice is around every corner and I make every attempt to take it gracefully. I had a beautiful  epidural free delivery that I would have loved to (hold your gasp) have done at home, therefor I am kicked out of most birth conversations as "crazy".  As a breastfeeding hippy, organic, cloth diapering Mom who works in a Pampers, formula, prescription filled NICU, I can see both sides of the fence. Lets follow the advice of this author and get over it- if only for the sake of our sanity :)

excerpt from Out Of The Spin Cycle: Devotions to Lighten Your Mother Load
by Jen Hatmaker

An ode to the marvelous woman called “Mother”
Though not one of us is exactly like another. 

From the second we’re born to the minute we die 
Our preferences are as limitless as stars in the sky.

We might have been perfectly gracious before 

But childbirth entered us in the Mommy War. 
Rather than letting everyone else be 
We criticize parenting that isn’t exactly like . . . me.

So once and for all let me put this to rest 

None of us owns the title of “best.”
Natural childbirth does not make you a hippy 
Epidurals are not just for women who want to feel trippy.

In a bathtub with a doula or in a hospital bed

We all got a baby with limbs and a head. 
Nursing is great if nothing goes wrong
But some nipples turn inward and refuse to play along.

This is a choice for each mom–it’s her route

So it’s just A + B and everyone else can C their way out.
Schedules and timers do not make you cruel 
Feeding on demand does not make you a fool.

In the nursery with a monitor or in the family bed

Every chick gets to pick where her baby lays his head.
If I see one more mom roll her eyes at “organic . . .”
“Partially hydrogenated” throws some of us into panic.

But neither judge Sonic burgers and fries

Some of us just want to enjoy food before we die. 
Preschool, home school, public, or Montessori
Listen, my friends, and I’ll tell you a story:

Two moms differed on favorite school trends

Their kids turned out pretty much the same. The end.
If a girl gets the title of “mom” accidentally 
The worst thing we can do is treat her judgmentally.

How about some love, some help, some advice?

She needs our love and we shouldn’t think twice.
Discipline through various methods will prevail 
Look, we’re all just trying to keep our kids out of jail.

These things are just preferences, not right or wrong

What matters more is teaching our kids to get along– 
To love and to share, to speak gently and kind
To obey so that mom won’t go out of her mind.

Showing them Jesus is our common ground

Teaching them how he can always be found
He’s present in public school and Waldorf (so trendy)
He’s over at Whole Foods but also at Wendy’s.

Jesus never cared about these sorts of things

It’s our hearts that he wants and the worship we bring.
It’s time for us moms to declare a truce 
Regardless if we buy Capri Sun or 100 percent juice.

My way is not your way, and your way isn’t mine 

But both of our kids will turn out just fine.
Rather than judging and looking down our noses
Let’s enjoy the common ground motherhood poses.

As believers, we all love the same good Lord

We all have children who tell us “I’m bored.”
We all need more sleep than these tiny five hours
Most of us struggle to find time for a shower.

We haven’t been to the bathroom alone in an age

Our mothers have all told us, “Relax, this is just a stage.”
We all love our babies so much we could die 
We’d take a bullet for each one without batting an eye.

Though we are different, we’re in the same tribe 

Motherhood requires a similar vibe– 
Love and affection, sacrifice and grace 
Laughter, which keeps the whole mechanism in place.

Though different, by the grace of God, I suspect: 

ALL our children will rise up and call us ... collect.


  1. That's a great poem! Everyone's trying to be the best parent they can, with their own beliefs and challenges and unique children. We could all do with a little more support and a little less judgment; choosing to discuss, but agree to disagree on all the little differences without giving or taking offense.:) This epidural-loving mother might think you're "crazy" for choosing to go drug-free...haha...but every mother deserves respect for her own choice.

    1. I agree with you 100%! I think the "agree to disagree" is the biggest take away :)

  2. That was beautiful! Definitely tears in my eyes!